I can not fail!

I can not flunk out of University. No one will ever catch me, no one will ever discipline me; I can do as I please, attend when I wish and pay attention as little as I want. So take that University!

I myself should have been failed in every class I took last year according to the University structure regarding attendance. Sure there were extreme circumstances that limited my ability to attend, but most of my teachers were unaware of these circumstances and simply assumed I was a skipper.

Yet I passed these courses simply by submitting my assignments.

How is it possible that a university be capable of failing a student for the reason they do not show up. I am paying to be here. I see no difference whether I attend or not. My work may very well be better than little miss perfect attendance sitting across the room from me, but no, teachers reserve the right to fail me because I do not attend.

A friend of mine failed all of his courses during his first year of University. He spent the entire time getting wasted; However there are some good memories with a bottle of vodka, my crappy Chevrolet Cavalier, a box of eggs and of course Halloween masks on any day of the year. If you ask Mike these memories were worth his terrible grades.

At the end of the first semester he received a notice informing him he was on probation for the remainder of the semester. His solution was to drop-out. Sure you can’t flunk out but anyone I know that has been put on probation ended up dropping out on their own accord, apparently the formula works.

Students who do poorly are put on probation. The University is now in the wonderful position where they have no need to take disciplinary action. The Student, feeling like a failure will likely take it upon themselves to drop out.